“I’ve found you the perfect Christmas present,” said Shana, as she patiently waited in the ‘nine items or less’ queue at one of her favourite online catalogues.

My eyes lit up as I imagined such ideal stocking fillers as Winnie the Pooh socks or the 2010 Top Gear annual. But then Shana told me what she had discovered.

“It’s a Sudoku page-per-day desk calendar!”

I wouldn’t mind but I don’t even have a desk! It’s the thought that counts though, I thought, hoping I could catch Shana before she clicked on anything with ‘Pay’ written on it.

“You know what’ll happen, don’t you?” I said. “Bearing in mind that I’m not the world’s fastest sudoku solver, we’ll get to, say early February next year, and I’ll still be somewhere around mid-January on the calendar, trying to work out why I’ve got two sixes in one column and wishing I hadn’t started the puzzle in ink because now it’s impossible to rub out the errors. It’ll probably take us till halfway through 2012 before we’re back in the same week.”

“Good point,” said Shana, abandoning her virtual basket. “I’ll just get you a large bag of gobstoppers instead. That should keep you quiet for a while.”

“Excellent!” I said, as I finished colouring in this week’s What’s On TV crossword. “That’s a much better idea.”