If we were looking for a career change, professional criminal — more specifically, thief — would not be a good option. Forget breaking into locked cars and buildings; we probably couldn’t even break into an unlocked one, at least not if our efforts to break into our groceries this morning was anything to go by.

Our fortnight’s shopping was delivered this morning by Asda. Although their online shopping service is second to none, today’s order did pose us a challenge, especially a pack of Gillette Mach 3 razor blades. These are, owing to their relatively astronomical price, presumably the impecunious tea leaf’s fave shave, which is why you tend to see them in sturdy bulletproof plastic security boxes. In store, the checkout assistant usually unlocks the pack for you. With online deliveries, though, the process is different and sometimes one’s blades can arrive still in their protective packaging.

Which is what happened this morning.

After half an hour (at least) of my attacking the packing with tools ranging from a hacksaw to a screwdriver and finally a pair of round-nosed pliers, I finally managed to make the outer packaging even more dangerous than the blades inside. Shana eventually succeeding in prizing open the top of the pack, nicking her thumb in the attempt. Hmm. Maybe she could still have a promising future as a safecracker, after all.