So there I was this afternoon emptying sand and florist’s oasis out of a small brass bowl (for reasons best known to myself) and, as a consequence, getting sand and bits of plastic miniature sunflowers all over the floor and the table.

‘I bet you can’t guess what I’m doing,’ I said.

‘Getting sand and bits of miniature sunflower all over the floor, at a guess,’ said Shana, happily going along with my blog style and having words put into her mouth after the fact–when, to be strictly accurate, she originally hadn’t a clue what I was doing and was engrossed at the time in an online battle against little pixelated monsters; or was she paying the bills?

Whatever!

Anyway, as I was saying, there I was busily arranging artificial flowers and suddenly I decided that this new-found skill should have a name. So I called it ‘plastikebana’, a blend of plastic and ikebana (the Japanese art of arranging real flowers).

Feel free to use the word as much as you like, especially in letters to the Times (Annoyed of Tunbridge Wells, I’m relying on you) and certain unmentionable social network websites (e.g., Farcebook) and let’s see how long it takes for ‘plastikebana’ to get into the Oxford Dictionary.