“Last night’s CSI was good,” said Shana. “That Stella is one tough cookie, isn’t she?”
The episode, called The Cost of Living, had included a scene in which crime scene detective, Stella, was attacked. After throwing her down some steps, the attacker then hauled her up and pinned her against a wall.
“Those fights are all choreographed,” I said. “The actress who plays Stella probably had a body double to do the fight scene.”
With our fondness for spoonerisms, it was almost inevitable that the conversation would veer off into the Daft Zone, and today was no exception.
“Or rather,” I continued, ” a ‘doddy bubble’.”
Shana chuckled. “I reckon we ought to have doddy bubbles.”
“Yes. They wouldn’t have to stand in for us in fights, though,” I said. “They could go out to the shops for us instead. Save us from having to venture out into all this freezing cold weather.”
“They’d still have to behave like proper stunt actors, though,” said Shana. “Keep up the illusion that they were on a dangerous mission. A bit like Bodie and Doyle in The Professionals.”
“I can see it now,” I said. “The intrepid doddy bubble reaches the corner shop. Using the familiar two-handed grip like all good gun-toting cops, he holds a small purse containing just enough money for four pints of semi-skilled milk and a wholemeal Nimble. He inches sideways through the shop door. After looking all round the store for any signs of hidden assailants, he then declares the shop ‘Clear!’ before heading off to the milk chiller, all the while turning to see if anyone is trying to creep up on him. When he finally gets to the checkout, he’ll need to show some kind of badge of authority.”
“Yeah!” said Shana, lapsing into the vernacular, “Instead of FBI (or CI5, as it used to be in The Professionals), he could just flash his divi card
“Somehow, I think the staff would already know he was divvy**,” I said.
** Sense 2 of divvy, i.e., a foolish person — and that’s putting it politely!
