Imagine if we were rich. We’d have butlers to bring us our beans on toast (a rare English delicacy), servants to blow on our cups of tea so they’re not too hot for us to drink; and inevitably we’d have bought a dishwasher — after all, even the chief cook and bottlewasher demand labour-saving gadgets these days!

But if we had, then I wouldn’t have been in the kitchen earlier tonight, half submerged in a bowl of washing up water, accompanied by a couple of plates, a knife, a fork and a few other select pieces of the family silver, or rather, the family stainless steel! Nor would I have seen these shadows, falling on our de luxe plastic chopping boards. Formed by the light of the late evening sun, filtered through a single layer of mosquito netting, they really are rather artistic, aren’t they? Even, dare I say it, painterly (the shadows, that is, not the chopping boards).

See how the rough texture of the boards contrasts with the sinuous curves of the pattern on the bottles. I say, is that half a litre of best corn oil lurking at the back? By heavens, I’ll swear it is too!